Top 5 Eras of Phish That Are Beloved by Noobs

5. 1.4 -- Phish 1.4, which began with the first chords of the Murat “Gin” and ended right before the Big Birch encore, is often cited by noobs as an improvisational growth spurt for Phish. Very few if any noobs have actually listened to shows from this era, but they are told that many are outstanding.

4. VIDA-VOLT-TAB-GRAB-STER-NADO-HEAD -- As there is no light without dark, no sweet without sour, and no hard without soft, so noobs believe that there is no Phish without “No Phish.”

3. 3.1416 – We surveyed thousands of noobs in our “Thousands of Noobs” survey, and the Pi Era bested rivals like Euler's Number, 273 degrees Kelvin, and Hlohlm’s Constant. Among its highlights: the Outside Lands “Number Line.”

2. The Before Time -- Describes the assumed temporal void that precedes every noob’s first Phish show. No one really knows what was happening back then. It’s not like there’s a record, like a website or a book. There is only the oral history. And the cave paintings. And the fossil record.

1. The Merch Years -- At the peak of The Merch Years you could visit Dry Goods and cram a “Sample in a Jar” Nalgene bottle, a “Fuck Your Face” baby onesie, a 50-caliber rifle bullet with Fishman’s autograph engraved into the shell casing, an official Dude Of Life FleshLight, a pair of “Dr. Gabel” Crocs, a burlap sandbag filled with melted Phish Food ice cream, and a frog-gigging weekend in the Everglades with Page McConnell into one convenient shopping cart.

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